SD Dojavi Slobodna Dalmacija
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Evo, štioci moji, kako život čini štorije, ma ne more to niko zamislit, njanci ni u snu. Kako se u naše malo misto zna sve, ka iz one Rokove pisme – ko, koga, di, kako i tako daje, tako se i u naše malo misto znaju sve dežgracije i sve zajebancije.

Dunkve, da ne dujin i da ne bi ispa dosadan, moran van spjegat kako je moj prijatej Šime Rosin, a o njemu san van već pripovida, skoro izgubi glavu na pragu o vlastite kuće. Ti moj prijatej je bi cili život sportaš, igra je vaterpolo i pliva.

Zna je diko plivat i pridvečer, pa kad bi u portu stiga do gostione “Naše malo misto”, nako u moru bi drmnija gemišt oli dva i vrati se plivajući do hotela “Marko Polo” jerbo stoji povrj njega.

Zašto san van učini ovi uvod? Zato jerbo je to jako važno za ovi događaj. Tako se moj prijatej Šime vrati iz Baćine, di svaki dan oli radi ništo u poje, oli ždere i loče sa ekipon jerbo tamo jema staru kuću u kojoj se činidu te bakanalije o spize i bibiti.

Udrija ga vratima

Lipo je na cestu kraj kuće parkira svoga malešnoga tvinga, kad u to iz porta sa svojin auton dolazi mu sin Jakov i vozi našega dičnega Longa Stipića. Kako je Šime sta na kraju zidića ispo kojega su skale za poć u njega doma i na rivu, a Longo ga je ti pozdravit, tako je naglo otvori vrata o auta i udri Šimu. Ovi je, bome, pa u rupu, ma se ni baš puno udrija i ruvina. Pa je lipo ka pravi sportaš, a ti dan ni bi pošprucan.

Kako je naš svit ajme Bože, poslin je po našemu malemu mistu krenila priča da ga je sin Jakov ti pripast i nagovorija je Longa da ga malo takne vratiman. Ma kako kažu da je Longo bi malo pošprucan, ni moga odredit koliko će vratiman taknit Šimu i skoro se dogodila tragedija. Vako je, fala Gospi, bila samo dežgracija. Šime je malo ugruvan, ništa mu ni slomjeno ni žgincano.

Oba boli trbuj

Kad san se vrati sa mora, di san iša baci parangal na ugore sa mojin kumpanjon zvani Đeki, svratija san u gostionu di me je jedan rođak o moje žene časti pićen jerbo je posta dida. Rodila mu je nevista dite, kako se u nas u Dalmaciju reče, jerbo je to za žensko. Da je muško, onda bi se odma reklo unuk.

Tu je s njin bija i njegov nerazdvojni kumpanjo Brane Londonac koji žive u London. Oba dva su mi bili u sumnji, sve ji ništo ka boli trbuj, jemadu grčeve, muči ji kiselina i to da ste vidili kako... Ma u “Naše malo misto” jema iz Amerike dobivena plastična škatula sa 160 veliki pirul kontra ti bolov u trbuju.

I sad ja kurjožast, pa ča je, ča se dogodilo, kako vas to boli, ča je uzrok? Na kraju su kapitulirali i sve mi lipo ispripovidili.

Bili su na obid kod još jednega rođaka o moje žene koji se zove Đorđi, zvani Đoko, o kojen san već pisa. Dunkve, ti Đoko jedan je osebujan tip koji lavura u Lučku kapetaniju u Ploče. Vrstan je ribar, a voli se pačat u kužinu i uvik govori da on najboje zna sparićat ribu na sve načine. Ali, kako je uvik ništo namrgođen, ja san mu da još jedan nadimak – Mrgud.

Gnjili selen

Kako i ja volin kužinavat, a judi govoru da neloše kuvan, u stalnome smo škandalu kad su ricete u pitanju. Ja tvrdin, ka i svi pravi kuvari u Dalmaciji, a bome i u cilomen svitu koji parićaju brudet, da se isti parića s petrusimulon. Ali, u moga Đoke to ne pali jerbo on parića svoje brudete sa selenon. I ne bi ga dragi Bog ni vela Gospe uvjerili da falije.

No, da se vratin na ona dva jadnika ča bortaju u “Naše malo misto” –- oni su bili na obid u Đoke, i to na brudet kojin su se otrovali. Ja san in odma reka – to je sigurno bilo zbog gnjilega selena. Kako san otiša doma, nisan Đoku dočeka u portu sa mora, pa mogu samo zamislit kad mu spjegaju ča san ja reka, ča bi mi se dogodilo da san osta. Moglo bi bit i mrtvi duš.

Eto, štioci dragi, ovega puta toliko, živi i veseli bili do sljedeće štorije iz malega mista.

Vaš morski čovik.

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Za Otvoreno more pišu Tonka Alujević i Edo Šegvić, na pitanja čitatelja odgovara Alen Soldo. Pogledajte i predivne galerije Srđana Vrančića koji snima vrhunske podvodne fotografije, a na njima su najčešće tropske ribe i ostale egzotične morske životinje. 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Evo, štioci moji, kako život čini štorije, ma ne more to niko zamislit, njanci ni u snu. Kako se u naše malo misto zna sve, ka iz one Rokove pisme – ko, koga, di, kako i tako daje, tako se i u naše malo misto znaju sve dežgracije i sve zajebancije.

Dunkve, da ne dujin i da ne bi ispa dosadan, moran van spjegat kako je moj prijatej Šime Rosin, a o njemu san van već pripovida, skoro izgubi glavu na pragu o vlastite kuće. Ti moj prijatej je bi cili život sportaš, igra je vaterpolo i pliva.

Zna je diko plivat i pridvečer, pa kad bi u portu stiga do gostione “Naše malo misto”, nako u moru bi drmnija gemišt oli dva i vrati se plivajući do hotela “Marko Polo” jerbo stoji povrj njega.

Zašto san van učini ovi uvod? Zato jerbo je to jako važno za ovi događaj. Tako se moj prijatej Šime vrati iz Baćine, di svaki dan oli radi ništo u poje, oli ždere i loče sa ekipon jerbo tamo jema staru kuću u kojoj se činidu te bakanalije o spize i bibiti.

Udrija ga vratima

Lipo je na cestu kraj kuće parkira svoga malešnoga tvinga, kad u to iz porta sa svojin auton dolazi mu sin Jakov i vozi našega dičnega Longa Stipića. Kako je Šime sta na kraju zidića ispo kojega su skale za poć u njega doma i na rivu, a Longo ga je ti pozdravit, tako je naglo otvori vrata o auta i udri Šimu. Ovi je, bome, pa u rupu, ma se ni baš puno udrija i ruvina. Pa je lipo ka pravi sportaš, a ti dan ni bi pošprucan.

Kako je naš svit ajme Bože, poslin je po našemu malemu mistu krenila priča da ga je sin Jakov ti pripast i nagovorija je Longa da ga malo takne vratiman. Ma kako kažu da je Longo bi malo pošprucan, ni moga odredit koliko će vratiman taknit Šimu i skoro se dogodila tragedija. Vako je, fala Gospi, bila samo dežgracija. Šime je malo ugruvan, ništa mu ni slomjeno ni žgincano.

Oba boli trbuj

Kad san se vrati sa mora, di san iša baci parangal na ugore sa mojin kumpanjon zvani Đeki, svratija san u gostionu di me je jedan rođak o moje žene časti pićen jerbo je posta dida. Rodila mu je nevista dite, kako se u nas u Dalmaciju reče, jerbo je to za žensko. Da je muško, onda bi se odma reklo unuk.

Tu je s njin bija i njegov nerazdvojni kumpanjo Brane Londonac koji žive u London. Oba dva su mi bili u sumnji, sve ji ništo ka boli trbuj, jemadu grčeve, muči ji kiselina i to da ste vidili kako... Ma u “Naše malo misto” jema iz Amerike dobivena plastična škatula sa 160 veliki pirul kontra ti bolov u trbuju.

I sad ja kurjožast, pa ča je, ča se dogodilo, kako vas to boli, ča je uzrok? Na kraju su kapitulirali i sve mi lipo ispripovidili.

Bili su na obid kod još jednega rođaka o moje žene koji se zove Đorđi, zvani Đoko, o kojen san već pisa. Dunkve, ti Đoko jedan je osebujan tip koji lavura u Lučku kapetaniju u Ploče. Vrstan je ribar, a voli se pačat u kužinu i uvik govori da on najboje zna sparićat ribu na sve načine. Ali, kako je uvik ništo namrgođen, ja san mu da još jedan nadimak – Mrgud.

Gnjili selen

Kako i ja volin kužinavat, a judi govoru da neloše kuvan, u stalnome smo škandalu kad su ricete u pitanju. Ja tvrdin, ka i svi pravi kuvari u Dalmaciji, a bome i u cilomen svitu koji parićaju brudet, da se isti parića s petrusimulon. Ali, u moga Đoke to ne pali jerbo on parića svoje brudete sa selenon. I ne bi ga dragi Bog ni vela Gospe uvjerili da falije.

No, da se vratin na ona dva jadnika ča bortaju u “Naše malo misto” –- oni su bili na obid u Đoke, i to na brudet kojin su se otrovali. Ja san in odma reka – to je sigurno bilo zbog gnjilega selena. Kako san otiša doma, nisan Đoku dočeka u portu sa mora, pa mogu samo zamislit kad mu spjegaju ča san ja reka, ča bi mi se dogodilo da san osta. Moglo bi bit i mrtvi duš.

Eto, štioci dragi, ovega puta toliko, živi i veseli bili do sljedeće štorije iz malega mista.

Vaš morski čovik.

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Denis Jerković/Ilustracija/Cropix
[OCMUserDisplay] => [OCMCommentsCounter] => [OCMCommentsBlock] => ) [image] => [imageWidth] => 600 [comments] => Array ( ) [absoluteURL] => https://slobodnadalmacija.hr/om/sa-svih-strana/u-stalnome-smo-skandalu-jerbo-moj-doko-parica-svoje-brudete-sa-selenon-i-ne-bi-ga-dragi-bog-ni-vela-gospe-uvjerili-da-falije-1138543 [emailLink] => /component/mailto/?tmpl=component&template=site&link=4e38d0689a95988eaad1be5ecf35aa54b8a5f5a1 [twitterURL] => http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=U+stalnome+smo+%C5%A1kandalu+jerbo+moj+%C4%90oko+pari%C4%87a+svoje+brudete+sa+selenon%2C+i+ne+bi+ga+dragi+Bog+ni+vela+Gospe+uvjerili+da+falije...&url=https%3A%2F%2Fslobodnadalmacija.hr%2Fom%2Fsa-svih-strana%2Fu-stalnome-smo-skandalu-jerbo-moj-doko-parica-svoje-brudete-sa-selenon-i-ne-bi-ga-dragi-bog-ni-vela-gospe-uvjerili-da-falije-1138543 [socialLink] => https%3A%2F%2Fslobodnadalmacija.hr%2Fom%2Fsa-svih-strana%2Fu-stalnome-smo-skandalu-jerbo-moj-doko-parica-svoje-brudete-sa-selenon-i-ne-bi-ga-dragi-bog-ni-vela-gospe-uvjerili-da-falije-1138543 )
Array ( [1] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 2 [name] => Superscript Title [value] => priče čitatelja [type] => textarea [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 2 [alias] => SuperscriptTitle ) [3] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 61 [name] => Contains Infographic [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 4 [alias] => contains_infographic ) [4] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 62 [name] => Without ads [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 5 [alias] => Withoutads ) [5] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 63 [name] => Photo gallery [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 6 [alias] => Photo_gallery ) [6] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 64 [name] => Promo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 7 [alias] => promo ) [8] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 67 [name] => Contains video [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 9 [alias] => contains_video ) [9] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 68 [name] => Premium content [value] => ON [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 10 [alias] => premium_content ) [10] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 69 [name] => Exclude comments [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 11 [alias] => exclude_comments ) [11] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 70 [name] => Open link in new window [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 12 [alias] => open_link_in_new_window ) [12] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 71 [name] => Horizontal crop of the main photo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 13 [alias] => horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo ) [13] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 73 [name] => No-index [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 15 [alias] => no_index ) [14] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 74 [name] => No-cache [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 16 [alias] => no_cache ) [15] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 77 [name] => Don't show on the front page [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 17 [alias] => dont_show_on_the_front_page ) [16] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 78 [name] => Related on bottom [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 18 [alias] => related_on_bottom ) [17] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 79 [name] => Live button [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 19 [alias] => live_button ) [26] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 87 [name] => Instant articles [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 28 [alias] => instant_articles ) [27] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 91 [name] => S preporučuje [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 29 [alias] => s_preporucuje ) [28] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 92 [name] => S voli [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 30 [alias] => s_voli ) [29] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 93 [name] => Layout with three photos [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 31 [alias] => layout_with_three_photos ) [30] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 94 [name] => Gallery in the article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 32 [alias] => gallery_in_the_article ) [31] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 95 [name] => Required views [value] => 0 [type] => textfield [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 33 [alias] => required_views ) [32] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 96 [name] => FullHD image [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 34 [alias] => fullhd_image ) [33] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 98 [name] => Paid Article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 36 [alias] => paid_article ) )
StoryEditorOCM
Sa svih strana

priče čitateljaU stalnome smo škandalu jerbo moj Đoko parića svoje brudete sa selenon, i ne bi ga dragi Bog ni vela Gospe uvjerili da falije...

Piše Jadran Šangarelo Šantić
28. listopada 2021. - 12:02
10142429
Denis Jerković/Ilustracija/Cropix

Evo, štioci moji, kako život čini štorije, ma ne more to niko zamislit, njanci ni u snu. Kako se u naše malo misto zna sve, ka iz one Rokove pisme – ko, koga, di, kako i tako daje, tako se i u naše malo misto znaju sve dežgracije i sve zajebancije.

Dunkve, da ne dujin i da ne bi ispa dosadan, moran van spjegat kako je moj prijatej Šime Rosin, a o njemu san van već pripovida, skoro izgubi glavu na pragu o vlastite kuće. Ti moj prijatej je bi cili život sportaš, igra je vaterpolo i pliva.

Zna je diko plivat i pridvečer, pa kad bi u portu stiga do gostione “Naše malo misto”, nako u moru bi drmnija gemišt oli dva i vrati se plivajući do hotela “Marko Polo” jerbo stoji povrj njega.

Zašto san van učini ovi uvod? Zato jerbo je to jako važno za ovi događaj. Tako se...

#PRIČE ČITATELJA#PRIČE ČITATELJA OTVORENO MORE
14. svibanj 2024 15:16