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[title] => Tonka Alujević: Samo bi Drvenik Mali bija dovoljan da svi inspektori i sva ministarstva graditeljstva, okoliša i pravosuđa budu izbrisana s lica zemje
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Znan nike jude s Drvenika Veloga koji nikad u životu nisu bili na Malome. To nije ništa neobično, jer je komunikacija između škoji uvik bila slaba. Malo ko je odija okolo iz gušta, znatiželje i da mu guzica vidi put.
Odavna nisan akoštala na Drvenik Mali pa smo prijatejica i ja odlučile dan provest tamo. Vazele smo vino, vodu, uje, kvasinu, pome, kukumare, kruv, sol, kartu za potpalit, lignje i gradele.
Partile smo iz Segeta trajekton. Čin smo ušle u salon Jadrolinijine Pelješanke, ćutija se miris kokica. Nikad u životu nisan vidila na šanku broda aparat za Pop Corn. Do mene je sidija čovik iz HEP-a, na škoj je iša poslovno i nije presta grintat.
Berite lupare
– Ka da gren na Goli otok, ništa tamo nema, ni kafića, ni restorana, a kako je danas nedilja, nema ni butige. A kad je radni dan, zamislite, kruv se more kupit samo ako si se zapisa. Pa šta je teško naručit koji kil kruva više?
Odma san ga napala i rekla mu da je to normalno, jer onaj koji vanka sezone gre na otok mora znat di ide i mora se sam organizirat. Tamo je malo svita. Za koga ćedu radit? On je samo kima glavon.
Negdi na po puta i u tijeku najžešće rasprave s čovikon, ujedanput san se sitila:
– Ej, prijo, a di su nama naše lignje? Ja ih nisan izvadila iz frižidera.
– Nisan ni ja.
Oblija nas je znoj, a čovik je reka ha ha, berite lupare! Sad me naglo zainteresirala butiga i to jel on baš siguran da danas ne radi. Onda san se uzvrtila i pitala po trajektu jel ko zna domaće ribare da bi prodali koju ribicu.
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Mrižica i ribice
Na jednin vratima blizu porta je pisalo da prodaju obotnice, ali mi nismo imale teću. Nastavile smo odit do na kraj zapadne strane otoka.
Nije nas napuštala nada. Isfantazirala san na glas kako ćedu sad doć ribari i mi ćemo iz mrižice izabrat ono šta najviše volimo. Jo, odlično, super, još boje šta smo zaboravile lignje. Stala san ka galeb na most i blejala okolo. Ni broda, ni ribe, ni galeba. Prija je samo rekla, a pa ne diže se mriža u podne.
Gladnome čoviku, pa tako i ženi, sad je sve bilo manje lipo. Još smo uvik usput gledale šumu za naložit. Prometni znak usrid maslin na kojemu piše OPREZ PČELE naglo me obradova. Onde di ima čelica, ima i meda, a di ima meda ima i palačinki sa medon. Jebeš ribu, barenko nan toga u životu nije falilo. Ali…boje da ništa ne govorin.
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Šparoge i ditelina
Sve vrime gazile smo po onome šta je na Malome Drveniku najlipše, najsmišnije i najdraže. To su puti od suhozida, labirintske tajnovitosti, od kojih svaki vuče da se po njemu uputiš do mora. Puni ciklama, perunika, šparoga, diteline…
Ti suri putići jedino su lipo šta je čovik ovde napravija. Sve ostalo je devastacija, da ne rečen zločin. Samo bi Drvenik Mali ili kako ga još zovu Ploča, bija dovoljan da svi inspektori i sva ministarstva graditeljstva, okoliša i pravosuđa budu izbrisana s lica zemje.
Priča mi je Zoran Civadelić kojome je otac s ovoga škojića kako mu je te '73. materi pukla voda. Zvala je i zapomagala po mistu. Onda je jedan čovik izletija u pidžami u kaić i mater mu odveja do Drvenika Veloga. Bila je velika nevera i nije moga put Trogira. Na Velome je bija patrolni brod JRM, ali ih oni nisu tili pribacit, jerbo in je bilo grubo vrime.
Onda je barba Ignacije uputija svoju gajetu i probija do Trogira. Otamo ih je Hitna pribacila u staro rodilište kojome su tu noć sva cakla popucala od nevrimena. Kad se rodija, i to dva miseca ranije, na Starome Placu, Hajduk je tuka OFK Beograd 2:0, a likari su više gledali utakmicu nego njega.
Vištice i đavli
Zoranu je mater pričala kako su babe znale govorit kad bi maška prošla priko gomile i sorila je da su to letile vištice, kozlaci i đavli. Danas te vištice i vrazi imaju mace i tuču po suhozidima.
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Došlo je vrime za vratit se. Cili trajekt je zna da su to one dvi šta su zaboravile lignje. Oni čovik je kupija škartoc kokica i ponudija nas.
Ali nije štorija finila s iskrcajen u Segetu. Nego, dobijen ja istu tu večer sliju na koju je lignja upravo ulovjena kraj Drvenika Maloga. Šaje mi je Dario iz Ražanca. A znate vi di je ti Ražanac? Pa to je tamo iza Zadra, ispod Velebita.
– Jel ovo mene neko zajebaje? Je li Dario?
– Ma ne, bija san s čovikon koji mi ih je pokaza, sve priko dva kila. Deset komadi u tri večeri. To šta on tamo oko Drvenika Maloga lovi, to je čudo.
– Kako se zove ti čovik?
– A ne znan. Trevili smo se na šanku na trajektu za Preko pa mi je sve ispriča. Iz Splita je.
– Lažeš! Samo da mi je doznat ko ti je reka za naše lignje.
Kacamarin od lakta
– E, već kad ih spominješ, da ti ispričan jednu anegdotu. Iša ti moj ujac najstariji Svetko na uligne i sad smo lovili nas četri, pet kaića jedan oko drugoga. I kako svaki izvuče po jednu onda mora viknit – evo je! Vučen ja, vuče drugi ujac a vuče i ujac Svetko pa viče, e, ova je za moju guzicu! A on trpa uvatija od lakta, priko sride. Okriće se oko sebe ka da pumpa uligne. Kad je on njeg izvadija ej, mi mu dandanas krv pijemo!
– Trpa, a? Kacamarina? I baš za njegovu guzicu?
– Ma e, mi ti ne rečemo kacamarin nego, da izvineš, morska kurčina. I uvik kad ga ko izvadi iz mora mi se odma sitimo Svetka.
Škola za časnu
A znaš ti kako je moj Jakov, kad je ima jedno četr godine… došla ti je nova časna kod nas, a ja san ti u firmi dobija novi kalendar od riba. I sad časna Bosanka nema pojma o ribama. A da je vidiš, ista Ćesić Rojs.
Veli, Jakove, oćeš mi pokazat ove ribe, a Jakov sija njoj na kolina i lista kalendar… vidiš časna, ovo ti je arbun, ovo ti je raža, ovo ti je morski pas, ovo ti je morska zvizda, ovo ti je morska kurčina, ovo ti je trlja… Mi zacenili od smija. Ništa ona.
Ništa ja ne znan. To narod tako zove, pa ni da oću ne mogu napisat drukčije. A ono šta znan je to, da kojin slučajen nismo zaboravile lignje, bile bi ih ispekle, izile, i? Di je tu priča? Bome, nigdi.
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[text] => {OCMSplitter}Znan nike jude s Drvenika Veloga koji nikad u životu nisu bili na Malome. To nije ništa neobično, jer je komunikacija između škoji uvik bila slaba. Malo ko je odija okolo iz gušta, znatiželje i da mu guzica vidi put.
Odavna nisan akoštala na Drvenik Mali pa smo prijatejica i ja odlučile dan provest tamo. Vazele smo vino, vodu, uje, kvasinu, pome, kukumare, kruv, sol, kartu za potpalit, lignje i gradele.
Partile smo iz Segeta trajekton. Čin smo ušle u salon Jadrolinijine Pelješanke, ćutija se miris kokica. Nikad u životu nisan vidila na šanku broda aparat za Pop Corn. Do mene je sidija čovik iz HEP-a, na škoj je iša poslovno i nije presta grintat.
Berite lupare
– Ka da gren na Goli otok, ništa tamo nema, ni kafića, ni restorana, a kako je danas nedilja, nema ni butige. A kad je radni dan, zamislite, kruv se more kupit samo ako si se zapisa. Pa šta je teško naručit koji kil kruva više?
Odma san ga napala i rekla mu da je to normalno, jer onaj koji vanka sezone gre na otok mora znat di ide i mora se sam organizirat. Tamo je malo svita. Za koga ćedu radit? On je samo kima glavon.
Negdi na po puta i u tijeku najžešće rasprave s čovikon, ujedanput san se sitila:
– Ej, prijo, a di su nama naše lignje? Ja ih nisan izvadila iz frižidera.
– Nisan ni ja.
Oblija nas je znoj, a čovik je reka ha ha, berite lupare! Sad me naglo zainteresirala butiga i to jel on baš siguran da danas ne radi. Onda san se uzvrtila i pitala po trajektu jel ko zna domaće ribare da bi prodali koju ribicu.
---
---------
Mrižica i ribice
Na jednin vratima blizu porta je pisalo da prodaju obotnice, ali mi nismo imale teću. Nastavile smo odit do na kraj zapadne strane otoka.
Nije nas napuštala nada. Isfantazirala san na glas kako ćedu sad doć ribari i mi ćemo iz mrižice izabrat ono šta najviše volimo. Jo, odlično, super, još boje šta smo zaboravile lignje. Stala san ka galeb na most i blejala okolo. Ni broda, ni ribe, ni galeba. Prija je samo rekla, a pa ne diže se mriža u podne.
Gladnome čoviku, pa tako i ženi, sad je sve bilo manje lipo. Još smo uvik usput gledale šumu za naložit. Prometni znak usrid maslin na kojemu piše OPREZ PČELE naglo me obradova. Onde di ima čelica, ima i meda, a di ima meda ima i palačinki sa medon. Jebeš ribu, barenko nan toga u životu nije falilo. Ali…boje da ništa ne govorin.
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Šparoge i ditelina
Sve vrime gazile smo po onome šta je na Malome Drveniku najlipše, najsmišnije i najdraže. To su puti od suhozida, labirintske tajnovitosti, od kojih svaki vuče da se po njemu uputiš do mora. Puni ciklama, perunika, šparoga, diteline…
Ti suri putići jedino su lipo šta je čovik ovde napravija. Sve ostalo je devastacija, da ne rečen zločin. Samo bi Drvenik Mali ili kako ga još zovu Ploča, bija dovoljan da svi inspektori i sva ministarstva graditeljstva, okoliša i pravosuđa budu izbrisana s lica zemje.
Priča mi je Zoran Civadelić kojome je otac s ovoga škojića kako mu je te '73. materi pukla voda. Zvala je i zapomagala po mistu. Onda je jedan čovik izletija u pidžami u kaić i mater mu odveja do Drvenika Veloga. Bila je velika nevera i nije moga put Trogira. Na Velome je bija patrolni brod JRM, ali ih oni nisu tili pribacit, jerbo in je bilo grubo vrime.
Onda je barba Ignacije uputija svoju gajetu i probija do Trogira. Otamo ih je Hitna pribacila u staro rodilište kojome su tu noć sva cakla popucala od nevrimena. Kad se rodija, i to dva miseca ranije, na Starome Placu, Hajduk je tuka OFK Beograd 2:0, a likari su više gledali utakmicu nego njega.
Vištice i đavli
Zoranu je mater pričala kako su babe znale govorit kad bi maška prošla priko gomile i sorila je da su to letile vištice, kozlaci i đavli. Danas te vištice i vrazi imaju mace i tuču po suhozidima.
---
---
Došlo je vrime za vratit se. Cili trajekt je zna da su to one dvi šta su zaboravile lignje. Oni čovik je kupija škartoc kokica i ponudija nas.
Ali nije štorija finila s iskrcajen u Segetu. Nego, dobijen ja istu tu večer sliju na koju je lignja upravo ulovjena kraj Drvenika Maloga. Šaje mi je Dario iz Ražanca. A znate vi di je ti Ražanac? Pa to je tamo iza Zadra, ispod Velebita.
– Jel ovo mene neko zajebaje? Je li Dario?
– Ma ne, bija san s čovikon koji mi ih je pokaza, sve priko dva kila. Deset komadi u tri večeri. To šta on tamo oko Drvenika Maloga lovi, to je čudo.
– Kako se zove ti čovik?
– A ne znan. Trevili smo se na šanku na trajektu za Preko pa mi je sve ispriča. Iz Splita je.
– Lažeš! Samo da mi je doznat ko ti je reka za naše lignje.
Kacamarin od lakta
– E, već kad ih spominješ, da ti ispričan jednu anegdotu. Iša ti moj ujac najstariji Svetko na uligne i sad smo lovili nas četri, pet kaića jedan oko drugoga. I kako svaki izvuče po jednu onda mora viknit – evo je! Vučen ja, vuče drugi ujac a vuče i ujac Svetko pa viče, e, ova je za moju guzicu! A on trpa uvatija od lakta, priko sride. Okriće se oko sebe ka da pumpa uligne. Kad je on njeg izvadija ej, mi mu dandanas krv pijemo!
– Trpa, a? Kacamarina? I baš za njegovu guzicu?
– Ma e, mi ti ne rečemo kacamarin nego, da izvineš, morska kurčina. I uvik kad ga ko izvadi iz mora mi se odma sitimo Svetka.
Škola za časnu
A znaš ti kako je moj Jakov, kad je ima jedno četr godine… došla ti je nova časna kod nas, a ja san ti u firmi dobija novi kalendar od riba. I sad časna Bosanka nema pojma o ribama. A da je vidiš, ista Ćesić Rojs.
Veli, Jakove, oćeš mi pokazat ove ribe, a Jakov sija njoj na kolina i lista kalendar… vidiš časna, ovo ti je arbun, ovo ti je raža, ovo ti je morski pas, ovo ti je morska zvizda, ovo ti je morska kurčina, ovo ti je trlja… Mi zacenili od smija. Ništa ona.
Ništa ja ne znan. To narod tako zove, pa ni da oću ne mogu napisat drukčije. A ono šta znan je to, da kojin slučajen nismo zaboravile lignje, bile bi ih ispekle, izile, i? Di je tu priča? Bome, nigdi.
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[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 7
[alias] => promo
)
[8] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 67
[name] => Contains video
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 9
[alias] => contains_video
)
[9] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 68
[name] => Premium content
[value] => ON
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 10
[alias] => premium_content
)
[10] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 69
[name] => Exclude comments
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 11
[alias] => exclude_comments
)
[11] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 70
[name] => Open link in new window
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 12
[alias] => open_link_in_new_window
)
[12] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 71
[name] => Horizontal crop of the main photo
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 13
[alias] => horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo
)
[13] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 73
[name] => No-index
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 15
[alias] => no_index
)
[14] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 74
[name] => No-cache
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 16
[alias] => no_cache
)
[15] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 77
[name] => Don't show on the front page
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 17
[alias] => dont_show_on_the_front_page
)
[16] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 78
[name] => Related on bottom
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 18
[alias] => related_on_bottom
)
[17] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 79
[name] => Live button
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 19
[alias] => live_button
)
[26] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 87
[name] => Instant articles
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 28
[alias] => instant_articles
)
[27] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 91
[name] => S preporučuje
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 29
[alias] => s_preporucuje
)
[28] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 92
[name] => S voli
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 30
[alias] => s_voli
)
[29] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 93
[name] => Layout with three photos
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 31
[alias] => layout_with_three_photos
)
[30] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 94
[name] => Gallery in the article
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 32
[alias] => gallery_in_the_article
)
[31] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 95
[name] => Required views
[value] => 0
[type] => textfield
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 33
[alias] => required_views
)
[32] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 96
[name] => FullHD image
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 34
[alias] => fullhd_image
)
[33] => stdClass Object
(
[id] => 98
[name] => Paid Article
[value] => OFF
[type] => radio
[group] => 9
[published] => 1
[ordering] => 36
[alias] => paid_article
)
)
19. svibanj 2024 04:19
